There are some topics we usually try to avoid. Death is one of them. It’s especially hard when it comes to parents.
My mum, Patty, is 86 years old.
She’s always been a straightforward person, without sentimentality.
But even for her, talking about death was difficult.
We were sitting in the kitchen, with our usual cup of tea, when she said: “I’ve decided to give my body to science when I die.”
I kept quiet. Even when Mum had bowel cancer a few years ago, I tried not to think about the loss.
And now she talked about it calmly, almost cheerfully – like she was discussing buying a new book.
“It’s my way of saying thank you.”
Mum had always been practical.
“Every year thousands of students learn from living people,” she said. – That is, from former living people. Without donors, they wouldn’t be real many years ago doctors saved her from death.
“If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t be here,” she said. “So let my body help others. That’s the honest thing to do.”
As a journalist, a daughter – and just a curious person – I wanted to know how it all really happened.
That’s how the idea for my documentary was born.
We went to Cardiff University – where my mum willed her body after her death.
A world hidden from view
Cardiff University’s Anatomy Centre is a place where visitors aren’t usually allowed in.
But the door was opened to us.
We saw the doctors-to-be deal with the body first.
Not with a plastic mock-up, not with a 3D model, but with a real person – someone who once breathed, laughed, loved.
” No technology can replace a real human body,” with Joy Ceci, the woman whose family agreed to donate.
“Mum always helped others,” said her daughter Jenny. – Even in death, she remained true to herself. “
Photo by Carol Endersby
Joy had eight children, twenty grandchildren, twenty-three great-grandchildren and three great-great-grandchildren – she left behind a large family.
While awaiting cremation, relatives held their own wake.
However, her granddaughter confessed: “Without the funeral, everything seemed unreal. There was no usual ritual to go to the funeral and say goodbye. Life seemed to stop.
A continuing legacy
In recent years, there have been fewer people willing to bequeath their bodies to science: in Cardiff, the number has almost halved since 2020. In 2024, though, 154 people still signed a donation agreement.
Universities insist, I Joy’s family, it was a real revelation.
“We thought she was just giving her body to science. And it turns out she gave hope to future doctors and patients,” says her daughter Carol.
I understand their feelings. Now when I think about my mother’s decision, I don’t feel fear. Just pride.
Author photo, Patsy Cohen
” When I’m gone,” my mother says, “I’ll still be useful. Let me make at least one good doctor.”
And I believe her.
I’ll feel better knowing that Mum will still be helping people even after she dies.
And to be honest, I’ve decided to do the same – to give my body to science too.
Thank you, Mum.